


Comparisons.

by Over_Blackout



Series: Egbert, English and the Striders [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: And the Striders have to put up with them, John and Jake are actually evil, M/M, Pointless fluff, implied sex, this should probs be rated higher but its all figurative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 12:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1346839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Over_Blackout/pseuds/Over_Blackout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Yes. My gosh, they are trouble aren't they?'</p><p>You nod. Then tilt your head to the side, considering.</p><p>'They're real cute though.' You say, thinking of Dave's crooked smile and dorky, long winded puns and they way he blushes when you kiss him. It's seriously cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comparisons.

You and Jake have come to the conclusion that your boyfriends are, in fact, complete idiots. The most adorable idiots you have ever come across and of course you are both _head over heels _in love with your respective Striders but my _god_ are they stupid sometimes.__

Jake is curled up next to you on the sofa with his feet in your lap, Dirk and Dave had left you two a little while ago after Dave had challenged his Bro to a strife. The entire ship shudders now and again after what must be one of their attacks and you figure they're enjoying themselves. Also please do not let them blow up ship, or the surrounding area. You don't know what it is but where there are Striders, there are explosions.

So now you are having a full out bro-chat session with Jake while you play Animal Crossing on these 3DS's you alchematized (Yours is light blue and you put your god tier symbol on the lid. It's awesome. Jake's is similarly decorated.) and the topic of conversation has turned to your favourite blond bombshells. 

'They get so wrapped up in their heads, don't they?' Jake asks you, as he leads you through his town. (It's difficult to follow his little avatar, he planted so many trees the place is practically a jungle and his character is wearing freaking green)

'But I can't say I blame Dirk though, he spent so much time alone with no other human contact and he tries so hard to get everything _perfect_ '

A tiny line appears between Jake's eyebrows when he thinks of his boyfriend's isolation and you understand him completely - It hurts to think of Dave alone in his room, spinning tracks to fill up the silence of his apartment. You always had someone there for you, but Dave only had his Bro and he was out a lot of time, working.

The two of them are wound up bundles of strength and loneliness and sharp slithers of pain, all held together by fire-hot wires of tension and self-imposed standards. Dave fears rejection above all things; of not being good enough and being left alone and it breaks your heart when he withdraws into himself, pulling out a defensive shell of irony and scorn to separate him from the rest of the world.

You rest your arms on Jake's shins and let out a sigh. 'It's the same for Dave, J. Man, he get all worried over the stupidest things and then bottles it all up – is it like that with Dirk?'

Jake glances up at you, a little smile pulls up the corner of his mouth.

'Yes it is. My gosh, they are trouble aren't they?'

You nod. Then tilt your head to the side, considering.

'They're real cute though.' You say, thinking of Dave's crooked smile and dorky, long winded puns and they way he blushes when you kiss him. It's seriously cute.

'Indeed they are.' Jake hums, flat out smiling - probably thinking about Dirk.

'Oh man, the freckles, dude, the _freckles_.' God you love Dave's freckles, they are scattered all over him like cinnamon powder, and you like counting them, tracing randomly connecting patterns through the caramel coloured dots until he is squirming and laughing and begging you to stop. They are so pretty against the milk white-colour of the rest of his skin. Plus They're fun to kiss too.

'Oh god, I _know_ , it's awfully fun to make Dirk blush just so I can see them better. he is so very endear-oh fiddlesticks'

His avatar fell down a sinkhole and you laugh and make yours run off ahead of him.

'They're hot too.' You say absently and Jake nods in agreement, trying to find your blue booted character through the forest. You are lost now - you will never find the town through all the trees. God, you hope you run into a villager soon. Or at least get a rare fruit.

To be honest, anybody with eyes can see the Strider are hot. Slim, muscled and blond, all pale skin and long limbs, covered in a dusting of freckles and yeah, they look amazing. But they _know_ they do and sometimes they drive the two of you crazy. However, you can get over that because Dave looks stunning when he is under you, panting and moaning your name, his nails digging into your shoulders as you drag your palms down his spread thighs.

It's a really awesome sight. One of the best you have ever seen.

Dave is nice and vocal too, when he loses the ability to hold his voice in and his moans and gasps make you _so freaking hot._ You find yourself wondering if his brother is the same. Or if he is as quiet as he is when all four of you are together.

'Is Dirk loud when you do stuff?' You blurt out curiously, peeking up at Jake. He lets his head fall to the side and smirks at you, considering the question. His eyes are a liquid green and mischievous in the light of the rec-room and you grin back.

'He makes you work for it, but yes, once you get him into it, he is quite the loudmouth.' Jake tells you. 'He is so very sensitive but he tries so hard to hold his voice in, I find it very sweet.' There is a little predatory glint in his eyes at the end of his sentence and something in you flutters.

Dave is the same. He is so responsive in your arm and under your fingers and it leaves you in awe sometimes - how much pleasure he gets from your touch, how it drives him crazy and make him loose his cool facade. Plus it's freaking smokin' hot when he arches into you, back bowed in the most gorgeous curve you have ever seen.

'Dave too.' You reply, shooting Jake a wink. Jake smiles and sits up a little. Things are getting interesting.

'Oh gosh, Dirk makes the _cutest_ sound when you kiss the skin just behind his ear, it's positively _killer.'_ Jake tells you, pupils visible dilating at the memory.

You blink surprised.

'Dave has that same thing.' When you nibble there, it makes Dave shiver and bare his neck for you, it's one of your favourite spots to tease him.

'Really?' Jake asks, eyebrows raised.

'Yeah.'

'How peculiar.' You both pause for a second, taking in the information.

'Does Dirk pull your hair when you go down on him?' You're really curious now, how many traits do the Striders share? What things get them both hot?

There is a really dirty smile on Jake's face now and you can feel it reflected on your own. Your DSs lie abandoned in your laps as Jake rests his cheek in the cradle of his palm, regarding you through his glasses.

'He does.' Dave does too.

Hmmmmmmmm. Anything else?

'Dirk make the most spectacular sound when you lick up-' 

The Jake is cut off when a pair of pale arms wrap round his neck and a hand clamps over his mouth, stopping the flow of his words. Wow, rude. The two of you are in the middle of a very important comparison session. You are about to open yours in protest, but you find yourself in a headlock, courtesy of one Dave Strider. Dirk is blushing, you can see it on his face and he looks so embarrassed and slightly aroused you would laugh if you could. Jake's eyebrows raise as he tilts his head to look up at his boyfriend, clearly wondering what all the fuss is about.

When did they get in here? You didn't hear them enter. But then again you are talking about the Strider Bros and they only ever let you hear them when they want you to listen.

You crane your head back in Dave's arms, his hold is loose enough for you to look up and catch a glimpse of his face. It's stained the most lovely shade of pink and all you can think about is that little sensitive spot behind his ear. The one that he shares with is brother.

Your prankster gambit perks up.

You do the windy thing, freeing you and Jake from Dave and Dirk's clutches, drawing curses from the Strider brothers as set them down in front of you. You catch Dave's wrists before he can put you back in headlock and you see Jake do the same. They won't pull away. They never do. Dave is staring at the floor and you can see the gears in his brain working, trying to figure out how to burn you best. His revenge will probably be epic.

You look at Jake, then drag your eyes to the little spot behind Dave's ear and wiggle your eyebrows. Jake smirks. You tilt your head forward, then back again and the smirk grows. 

_On three_ you mouth.

_One._  
 _Two._  
 _THREE._

You shove Dave in Jake's direction, at the same time he pushes Dirk in yours. They stumble off balance, faces full of confusion as you and Jake break their fall with your arms. You tug Dirk back into your chest, holding him while you nose just beside his ear. His hair smells different from Dave's, more spicy than sweet - it's nice.

You have to do this quick before they regain their senses. Jake presses his face to the side of Dave's head and you grin at him briefly before fixing your lips to that little patch of skin behind his ear. You suck slightly and Dirk relaxes into your arms for a few precious seconds.

Both Striders let out _identical_ shocked, noises of pleasure.

You crack up completely, prankster gambit flashing as it fills up and Dirk darts away from you, hand covering his ear. Jake is laughing so hard he collapses into sofa, the sound is muffled by the cushions. You look up to see Dave and Dirk standing side by side, looking so _scandalized_ that you double over, you are having trouble getting enough air into your lungs and you're laughing so hard you're crying. 

It takes you several minutes to get everything under control, random giggles keep bursting forth from you and Jake as you push yourself upright. Dave and Dirk are standing about a meter away from the both of you, arms crossed over their chests and they look like they are trying to scowl at the both of you but affection leaves the expression soft and useless. You hold out your hand motioning for Dave to come closer and he raises an eyebrow at you. Clearly, You have some apologies to make.

You employ your best kicked puppy look (you know he can't resist it and it's a slightly underhand tactic but you'll make it up to him) and he drags himself toward you. Jake stands and steps up to Dirk, taking one of his hand and kissing his fingers in apology. You think Dirk forgives him because he lets Jake kiss him on the lips, then winds his arms round his boyfriend's shoulders and tangles his fingers into Jake's dark hair. Dirk parts his lips for Jake as Dave stands in front of you.

You pull Dave into your lap, pressing light I'm sorry-kisses to his face; along his forehead and down the straight line of his nose. You kiss both cheeks and hover your mouth over his, waiting for permission, for Dave's forgiveness and he closes the distance between your lips, kissing you gently and you know he wasn't even mad to begin with. He nips at your bottom lip sharply but really, that is only excuse to suck it into his mouth and 'make it better'. You stroke your tongue against the length of his and slip your hand under the back of his shirt, settling it on his lower back.

The sound of a shutting door draws both your attention and you notice Jake and Dirk have left the room. You guess they have probably gone to practice what you had been discussing with English earlier.

Hehehehehe.

Dave re-adjusts in your lap, making himself comfortable as snatches your 3Ds from where it fell on the floor. He tosses it at you and grabs Jake's from the other end of the sofa, flipping the console open.

'Animal Crossing? Seriously John? God, you're a nerd of epic proportion, why am I dating you again?'

You smile and press a kiss to his neck. He likes animal crossing, you have seen him play it before, he put shades on his avatar and everything.

'Because you love me.' You tell him, opening your DS. He grunts at you, snuggling down in your arms as he makes Jake's character take out an axe and begins to chop down trees. Woah, Jake is gonna be _pissed_. You grin into his hair then focus on your screen.

'I love you too.' You say

**Author's Note:**

> ahahahahahaha I am so sorry. I might write a part two where the striders get there own back but tbh I have the headcannon that Jake and John and mischievous and love getting the Striders all riled up so it would probs dissolve into some OT4 makeout session and no.


End file.
